


Five Times Eliot Accidentally Slept with Parker and/or Hardison and One Time He Meant To

by tcwordsmith



Category: Leverage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 10:21:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14669025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tcwordsmith/pseuds/tcwordsmith
Summary: exactly what it says on the tin!





	Five Times Eliot Accidentally Slept with Parker and/or Hardison and One Time He Meant To

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my friend and beta venilia for all her help with this!

 

He’d gone from asleep to alert as soon as his door opened, his hand already on the knife under his pillow.  Whoever had broken in hadn’t done much to conceal their presence; Eliot kept his breathing even and assessed the situation. He could only sense one person, not obviously armed.  They moved out of the doorway and into his room and Eliot tensed up, ready to move at a moment’s notice.

 

“Eliot?” A loud whisper, “Hey, Eliot, it’s me. Your couch sucks man, don’t kill me.”  Hardison padded across the carpet, “I mean, it’s so small my legs don’t even--”

 

Eliot cut him off, “What the fuck Hardison? I almost -- I was -- What the fuck are you doing in here?”

 

Hardison shuffled around the end of Eliot’s bed and climbed on in. “I told you man, the couch is too small. I’ll just sleep in here with you.  Oh, that’s nice, what is that, Egyptian cotton?”

 

“What are you doing? Stop it, man,” Eliot let go of the knife and sat up, “There’s a perfectly good couch in the living room.”

 

“Perfectly good? That couch out there? Have you slept on your own couch, my man? That is a terrible, lumpy couch. Besides, we’ve got too much to do tomorrow, I need my beauty sleep!” Hardison wiggled around and got under the covers. “It’s cool, it’s cool. I’ll just stay over here, and you can stay over there. No big deal.”

 

Eliot brushed his hair out of his face, “No big deal? You’re in my bed, Hardison. I can’t sleep with you in my bed! With me.” Hardison in his bed was definitely not in Eliot’s best interest, if he wanted to get any sleep.

 

Hardison grabbed the extra pillow and curled around it, “Well we all have to make some sacrifices.” 

 

“Hardison, I swear to God, if you don’t get out of my bed and back on that couch --” Eliot leaned over to push Hardison out of bed.

 

“I’m already asleep, I can’t hear you, a good host wouldn’t wake up his guest, goodnight Eliot,” Hardison said and quickly started fake snoring.

 

“ _ Goddamnit _ , Hardison,” Eliot grumbled.  He glanced at the alarm clock. It was too late for this and too early to be up yet. “Just -- no octopus arms, got it?”  He punched his pillow a few times and laid back down.

 

Hardison’s fake snores slipped into real snores before Eliot managed to get back to sleep.

  
  
  
  


“You’re sure?” Eliot glared at the concierge who looked glad there was a desk between them.

 

“Yes, sir, I’m quite sure there are no other available rooms. Your companion rented the very last one.” The concierge pretended to check through the bookings again, but they both knew he wasn’t really looking.

 

Eliot glared at the security camera nearest the check in desk, “Well now, that’s strange. I’m fairly certain we agreed on  _ two rooms,  _ Hard--” 

 

“Ah, Eliot, please don’t threaten Hardison through the concierge,” Nate cut in over the earbud. “We don’t want you to be memorable when the mark inevitably finds out which hotel you and Parker are staying at.”

 

“Fine, fine,” Eliot grimaced. “Thanks for looking, man,” he said to the concierge, who was visibly relieved he was leaving.

 

“It’s not so bad, Eliot. You’ve slept in worse places,”  Nate chuckled.

 

When Eliot got back to the room Parker was already sitting on the bed. She beamed at him. “Hey, Eliot! How great is it that we’re gonna be bed buddies!” She bounced a little on the mattress, “Last bed in the whole hotel! I already ate all the chocolate covered espresso beans out of the mini fridge, but there’s still M&Ms if you want some!”  

 

“Oh man, Eliot,” Hardison crackled over the earbud, “Good luck.  She’s highly caffeinated and you have an early breakfast with the mark.”

 

“Fuck you Hardison, you don’t think I know that?” Eliot grumbled as he threw his bag on the chair and got ready for bed. 

 

Hardison laughed, “And man, watch out. She kicks.”

 

“Does she ever,” Sophie chimed in, “See you both in the morning!”

 

Eliot got on the bed on the side closest to the door, “No kicking, Parker.”

 

“Roger that, bed buddy!” Parker bounced a few more times.

 

“Parker, we have breakfast with the mark, go to sleep,” Eliot turned so he was facing the door and away from Parker.

 

Parker bounced once more and stopped, “No, Eliot, you have breakfast with the mark. I have a date with the safe in his office! I can pick it in my sleep.”  She turned on the tv.

 

Eliot groaned and covered his head with one of the pillows.  “Goodnight, Parker.”

 

“Night, Eliot!”

  
  





 

Eliot woke up to Parker’s face two inches from his nose.  “What the fuck Parker!” He jerked and she tumbled off him and onto the other side of the bed.  

 

“God, Eliot,” Hardison grumbled, “Parker just does that sometimes. Did you have to throw her on me?”  The bed shifted and Eliot realized he had two intruders. Parker and Hardison were in his bed. He had no idea how or when they’d gotten there.  Just the fact that they’d gotten into his room, let alone his bed, without him even waking up was nothing short of terrifying. 

 

“I’m hungry!” Parker said from somewhere around Hardison’s legs, “And you’re out of cereal.”

 

Eliot squinted against the sunlight streaming into his bedroom, “Cereal? I have -- Why are you both in my bed?”

 

Parker sighed loudly and flopped onto Eliot again, “You don’t have any good cereal. Or any Pop Tarts, I checked.”

 

Hardison cracked his neck and sat up. “Better feed her, Eliot. She’s like a reverse gremlin when she doesn’t get breakfast.”

 

Eliot blinked and sat up as well, “Okay, sure but  _ why  _ are you both in my bed?”

 

“We slept here!” Parker said happily, “It’s much more comfortable than the couch.  But really, food?” She started nudging Eliot off the bed.

 

“But why did you sleep in  _ here _ ? You both have places to sleep that aren’t here,” Eliot said, bewildered. 

 

The bed shifted as Hardison got up and stretched, which was when Eliot noticed Hardison wasn’t wearing anything but boxers. In Eliot’s bed, in Eliot’s room.

 

“Clothes, Hardison! Clothes!” Eliot said.  He grabbed Parker’s hand to stop her from pushing him out of his own bed, “Cut it out, Parker!”

 

“Food, please.” Parker twisted her hand out of Eliot’s grip and poked him in his ribs until he got out of the bed. “We’ve got to go steal a substitute teacher.”

 

Hardison shrugged on a shirt and threw pants on the bed for Parker. Parker had slept in his bed with no pants on, Eliot realized.  He wanted to beat his head against the wall or something. Parker and Hardison had broken into his apartment, snuck into his bedroom, and slept in his bed with him, and they’d been nearly naked.  He hadn’t even woken up when they infiltrated his room. It was just too much to take before coffee. 

 

“I need,” he opened the door but turned back to look at them, “to know why you’re here, and why you slept in my bed.”  

 

“How about a little trust here, man?  I think we’ve earned just a skosh of trust here,” Hardison said, smiling a bit.

 

Eliot glared at Hardison rather than respond to that.

 

“It’s for the con, Eliot, obviously,” Parker tried to push Eliot out of the room, “But first, breakfast. Come on, Eliot.”

 

“Goddamn it Hardi-- Parker! Fine, whatever. Breakfast. And then--  _ answers _ ,” Eliot stomped out of the room and toward the kitchen, because clearly he was a man no longer in control of his own life.

 

4.

 

“I’m not gonna wake him up, you wake him up.”

 

“Well I’m not gonna wake him up, I woke him up last time.”

 

“You stared at him until he made you eggs.”

 

“And French toast. So now it’s your turn.”

 

The whispers followed him out of the blackness of sleep and into an unfamiliar, too sterile room. Eliot may have woken up with a stiff back and a sore neck and no idea where he was, but he definitely knew who was with him.  “Y’know, what if this time, you  _ both _ wake me up? Just to try something new,” he mumbled, stretching as much as he could on the horribly uncomfortable hospital chair.

 

“Good morning, sleepy head,” Hardison said. “Thought you were gonna go back to the hotel and get some real sleep last night?” He shifted in his bed and looked about as uncomfortable as Eliot felt. 

 

Parker grabbed a pillow off her hospital bed and threw it at Hardison, “Of course he stayed here! He’s protecting us!”

 

“From the bomb we blew up? That ship has sailed,” Hardison caught the pillow with his face and it fell onto his lap.

 

Eliot stretched again and grabbed the pillow, “Parker, careful. You shouldn’t be throwing things, and Hardison shouldn’t be catching them. You’ll both pull something.”

 

“That ship didn’t sail, it exploded!” Parker said, trying and failing to reach the remote for the tv.

 

“Good morning, darlings. I brought you clothes and-- Oh, Eliot! You did stay after all.” Sophie walked into the room, garment bags draped over one arm and a coffee in her other hand, “Good thing I brought yours too, then.”

 

“Sophie, hey,” Eliot tripped over his own feet trying to stand and almost fell onto Hardison’s bed, “Thanks!”

 

Sophie handed him the coffee, “Don’t thank me just yet, we’ve got to get these two up and out and quickly. Sterling’s already on his way here.”

 

Hardison and Parker reached for their bags and started to change.  

 

“Out of here? Sophie, they blew up a ship they were still standing on last week.”  He fumbled with the bag Sophie shoved at him.

 

“It’s not the best plan, but it is our only one.  We need to be out of here in the next ten minutes.  Hurry! I’ve got to go convince their doctor they can convalesce at home.”  Sophie left, and that was when Eliot finally noticed she was in a doctor’s outfit.

 

“Thanks for sleeping with us and making sure we were safe, Eliot,” Parker said once she was dressed.

 

“Yeah, man, we appreciate it,” Hardison grinned and patted Eliot’s shoulder. 

 

He wasn’t flustered. Eliot Spencer didn’t get flustered just because his, his Parker and Hardison thanked him for sleeping in the world’s worst hospital chair all night.  And he certainly didn’t get flustered over being the center of their attention, or because they smiled at him like he was something special. No way. He might be blushing maybe, but the room was warm, so maybe he was just overheating or something. 

 

“I--uh--I’m gonna go help Sophie with the wheel chairs. Don’t--don’t move,” Eliot stammered and hightailed it out of the room.

  
  


“Well, I mean. I’ve got a safehouse. It’s, it’s not far from here,”  Eliot offered, nervously brushing his hair off his face.

 

Parker squinted at him, “All three of us could stay at your safehouse?”

 

“Didn’t Nate just tell us to split up and go to ground?” Hardison glanced over at Eliot and then quickly went back to watching where he was driving.

 

Eliot shrugged. “They’ll expect us to scatter. And no one knows where my safehouse is. We can lay low and wait for the heat to die down.”  He pointedly did not look at Hardison or Parker.

 

Parker leaned forward so her head was between the front seats, “Let me get this straight. You’re inviting us,” she pointed at herself and Hardison, “To stay with you at your safehouse? That nobody else can find.”

 

“It’s--it’s more like a cabin,” Eliot said. “Look, it’s a stupid idea. Nevermind.”

 

“Oh, no, no,” Hardison shook his head. “You invited us, to stay with you, at your cabin. We’re going.”  He took a turn and exited onto the highway, “You just tell me how to get to your totally secret safehouse.”

 

“I like cabins,” Parker said slowly. “Are you sure you meant to invite us?   I mean, usually we just break into wherever you are. It works for us.”

 

Eliot huffed, “Yes, I meant it. Let’s go. Hardison, it’s--”

 

Hardison laughed and turned the GPS so Eliot could see it. “There? Yeah, man, I just said ‘tell me where to go’ to make you feel better. I know where the cabin is. I know where all your hidey holes are, man. We’ll be there in two hours. I’m just surprised you invited us, is all.”

 

“I mean, it’s only got the one bed, but there’s great fishing up there. I was thinking we’d go up in the summer, but then this happened.” Eliot fiddled with a piece of paper he found in the cup holder.

 

“Eliot was going to invite us to a sleepover at his cabin!” Parker grinned at Hardison in the rearview mirror.

 

“You planned a... camping trip, for all three of us? To your cabin, in the woods, with one bed.” Hardison raised his eyebrows. Eliot didn’t have to look over, he could hear the raised eyebrows in Hardison’s voice. He could look over, if he wanted, totally.  Looking at them right now, after admitting he’d wanted to invite them to his cabin, where they’d have to share a bed, that wasn’t terrifying or anything

 

“I, maybe? Shut up, God. Just--drive, Hardison,” Eliot grumbled and turned away.

 

They drove in silence for a while, but eventually, someone poked him in the shoulder, hard and repeatedly. “I swear to god, if you don’t wanna lose a finger--” Eliot turned around and finally looked at them.  Hardison had a small, almost secret smile on his face and Parker looked like she was trying to decide between open and serious.

 

“Eliot,” Parker said, “We’d love to hide out in your super secret cabin with you. Really.”  She smiled and shoved Hardison’s seat, “Right, Hardison?”

 

“Right, right, absolutely, nothing we’d rather do,”  Hardison’s smile only got bigger, “So just sit back and relax, we’re almost there.”

 

They made it to the cabin before nightfall, but just barely.  Eliot sent Parker and Hardison into the cabin with their emergency bags and headed to the woodpile.  He took out his confusion and frustration while also making sure they’d have enough firewood for the night. Or the next month, whatever, they’d need the wood eventually.

 

He took a break and leaned on the axe.  While he was watching the last of the sunset, Parker snuck up next to and poked him in the side, “You know, if you wanted to sleep with us, Eliot, all you had to do was ask.”

 

“You two never ask! You just show up in my bed in the middle of the night!” Eliot shifted so he could see both of them better, “You sneak into my room and you steal my covers and you don’t even wear clothes!”  He wasn’t really sure why he was making a big deal about this, but it felt important.

 

“You don’t want us to ask.  Hardison said you didn’t want us to ask, right Hardison?”  Parker raised her voice and Eliot turned to see Hardison leaning in the doorway smiling at them.

 

Hardison shrugged and bobbed his head, “I guess he might have wanted us to ask, but you would’ve just said no, man.  And, I mean, you gotta admit, you sleep better when we’re there.”

 

Eliot stood up and let the axe fall next to the chopping block, “I just. Isn’t this kind of weird? Aren’t you, what even is this? I mean, you’re together and I’m. I’m just me.”

 

Parker looped her arm through Eliot’s and leaned into him, “You’re not just Eliot. You’re our Eliot.”

 

Hardison stepped closer until he was toe to toe with them, “And you know man, we’re. Well, we could be your Parker and Hardison.  You know, just, if you wanted.”

 

“You don’t even have to wear pajamas if you don’t want to!”  Parker nudged Eliot and grinned at Hardison.

 

“Or you two could wear pajamas,” Eliot suggested, “Just, you know, a thought.”

 

“Oh man,” Hardison laughed, “If this is going where I hope it’s going, I’m pretty sure none of us is going to wear them for very long.”

 

Parker tugged on Eliot’s arm and headed toward the cabin, “We should listen to Hardison. He always has the best ideas!” When Eliot didn’t immediately start moving she dropped his arm and headed for the cabin. 

 

“We should probably catch up with her or we’ll miss the best part,” Hardison nodded toward the house, “You know, only if you want to.”  He turned and headed inside, as if Eliot’s answer was a foregone conclusion.

 

As Eliot watched Hardison head in, a smile slowly crossed his face. These were two of the best people he knew, and  _ they _ wanted  _ him _ .  “Yeah.  Yeah, I want to.”

  
  


+1.

 

The stars were shining by the time Eliot raked the coals and dumped water on the fire. “You know, there’s a perfectly good bed in there,” he said, leaving the fire pit.

 

“This is better,” Parker’s answer was pretty muffled but he got it.

 

“Oh yeah, this is better,” Hardison grumbled from next to her, “Outside, in the weather, with the bugs. This is just perfect. I just love bugs, and weather.”  

 

Parker nudged him over and held open one side of the monstrous sleeping bag she’d put together earlier. “Right? Weather and bugs and plenty of room,”  she smiled at Eliot, “You know, if you want to join us.”

 

Eliot shook his head and took his shoes off before he got into the gigantic sleeping bag Parker had zipped together. “Oh, I want to,”  he said. He reached down and zipped the side closed. Parker then performed some complicated magic and Hardison ended up in the middle of the giant sleeping bag.

 

“We’ll protect you from the bugs, Hardison,” she said.

 

“Can’t do much about the weather though,” Eliot added.

 

Hardison scooted closer to Eliot, and Parker managed to sprawl over him enough to touch both of them.  “We’ll just have to huddle for warmth I guess,” Hardison said.

 

Eliot rolled his eyes but moved his arm so it was under Hardison’s head and his hand was brushing against Parker, “Sure, whatever you say, Hardison.”


End file.
